Too Much To Pray About

 

My mind is weary.

It will not silence, decompress, pause, coast,

relax, suspend or even simply idle long enough

for my thoughts to slow down for me

to process them. So they land all over me covering 

me like a heavy, wool, not so comfortable blanket.

The kind of blanket that you bring out for those

 last minute camping trips where everyone ends up 

sleeping in the car sitting up or those slumber parties when 

you were 12 and everyone brought fancy sleeping bags but

the basement was so cold the blanket was grabbed from

the closet in desperation at 2 in the morning when we were

 too lazy to run upstairs and turn the dial on the heater to make

 it kick on. The scratchy, heavy, musty and disliked but

necessary blanket. You don't want it but kicking it off means

you have to deal with the uncomfortable situation. 

That about some up how I have been dealing with my thoughts

for the last 6 almost 7 months now. And I can tell you it's not fun yet

I am still not ready to kick the blanket off. So how do I handle this?

How does anyone handle "THIS"? 

It's hard to say really.

We are traveling down roads most have never traveled.

There is no blueprint, no booklet of instructions and yet we

are forced to create a new "normal" and in a very short period

of time everything, well almost everything, has reluctantly changed.

We adapt, alter, about face, change course, shift gears, and just put 

it all in reverse. And for most of us change can be challenging.

So it's hard and we rebel a little and then we rebel a lot.

I can only rebel so much and then I tend to let it all cover me like

 the dreaded blanket. I can tolerate it more than the usual person due to my

stubbornness and strong will and then at some point I start to get annoyed 

and I am forced to make a move so I begin by throwing one foot outside 

of the blanket.Then the other foot and then one big kick and the 

flood gates open. Yep, that's me. The bound up and wound up

 thoughts rapidly and violently break the damn and I am forced to swim. 

First I let the rushing thoughts take me. I give in but my head stays afloat.

Next I grab a broken branch so I can rest a little while I tread from time to time.

Then when I am finally ready and mad and strong enough I start to go against 

the current, fighting my way back to the riverbank. It may take awhile and I will surely 

need many breaks and may even have a few setbacks but I know where I am headed 

and put forth the effort to get there. Once I am there I rest. I rest and rest knowing

I am okay. Knowing someone and something greater has me and I let go.

I give "THIS" to God.

I finally give ALL of "THIS" to God.

But until I am ready to kick the blanket off, I pray.

I pray for my own healing and for every single person who is doing

 the very best they can to deal with "THIS".

We will ALL be okay.

We will ALL get to the riverbank in our own time

and in our own way.

But in the meantime pray with me.

Pray for yourself first so you can then be strong

enough to be there for your family and others.

Pray desperately for our world.

Give "THIS" to God.

God Bless you all so very very much!

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If you cannot make the live time we will be posting the rosary we pray every day on Instagram and also on our YouTube channel. We have so many great guests scheduled for you to learn more about how to pray, how to meditate and share the power of the rosary. ~Kristin